March 10, 2010

You make the call: Beads?!

Because we have no lives, this debate has been a topic of consternation over here at Stalling Headquarters. Perhaps you can help us solve it with another edition of You Make the Call.

Jill and some guy she knows are trying to make the exclamatory phrase "BEADS?!" happen. It's alleged meaning: "I am not on-board." It's origin:



That is not the entire clip. GOB continues to express his not-onboardness by proposing a bee enterprise of his own, as he angrily buzzes out of the room bragging that his buzz-ness will bring in the most "honey." (I looked for the whole clip online, but couldn't find it. It's very funny.)

The conflict: I propose that an exclamation of "BEES?!" more embodies someone who is not on-board. Jill insists that "BEADS?!" means not on-board. This has caused much confusion as we both insist on using our own new exclamatory statements and refuse to acknowledge any other possible meaning. See the following chat, where we each present our arguments. (Clearly, it is a busy day here at Stalling Headquarters.)

Jill: i'm bees with damonic laughing
Jamie: that's a shame. i was hoping you'd be on board.
Jill: BEES IS ON BOARD RAWR
Jamie: I'M BEES WITH BEES
Jill: GOOD
Jamie: beads then.
Jill: beads to what?
Jamie: the new, true definition of bees
Jill: why do you insist on doing things wrong?
Jamie: i hate doing things wrong. that's why i never do things wrong. no matter how much you want me to. BEES
Jill: I AM NOT EVEN SURE HOW YOU ARE USING IT ANYMORE
Jamie: see, there are no angry sounds associated with beads. and when you are not on board, you are angry. so bees = not on board. it allows the possibility of bzzzzing to further emphasize your not on boardness. beads?

[moment of contemplative silence]

Jamie: you want to disagree, don't you. and wouldn't it feel so good to get all BZZZZy about it?
Jill: no. he [GOB] is so outraged at beads. that it must represent outrage. AND HE IS NOT ON BOARD WITH BEADS. it is so simple. he says beads with such disdain
Jamie: he is bz'ing though. because his clinging to bees further illustrates his not onboardness. if he had ended it at "beads" he'd be on board
Jill: you are not right!! just becuase you want to buzz! doesn't make you right!!
Jamie: so by saying "beads" we are being the bizarro GOB, on board with everything and pleasant. beads are pleasant and hippy like. even celebratory in a marti gra environment. why would you celebrate not-onboardness? why would you celebrate war?
Jill: we aren't trying to be bizarro gob. we are quoting gob!
Jamie: but see.... gob is always the opposite.
Jill: JUST BECUASE I DON'T LIKE THE OLYMPICS DOESN'T MEAN I'M UNAMERICAN
Jamie: so the TRUE meaning of beads is onboard.
Jill: no. it is not
Jamie: if you want to be all ironic and funny about it and use it the GOB way, fine.
Jill: i insist on bees=on board and beads=not on board
Jamie: but still: i am right. beads = on board.
Jill: no you are not
Jamie: see, now you are just being irrational. you have no reasoning.
Jill: you were irrational long before this
Jamie: other than GOB thinks so, and that is anti-reasoning.
Jill: MY REASONING IS THAT'S HOW IT IS IN THE DAMN SHOW.
Jamie: in the show, GOB is wrong.
Jill: three people in the world use this. two think my way. one thinks your way. so. seeing as we live in a democracy
Jamie: the creator of the show clearly thinks my way, and he invented it. so.
Jill: he doesn't think your way. because your way is stupid
Jamie: when is GOB ever right?
Jill: and the creator of the show is not stupid
Jamie: GOB is always the opposite. he is always wrong. your way is GOB's way. how can you not see that?
Jill: how can you not want to say beads with as much disdain as gob does?

[another moment of contemplative silence.]

Jamie: that... has nothing to do with right and wrong.
Jill: i don't see how this is a moral issue
Jamie: like i said, you can still say beads when you mean not on board. but that true meaning is that you are not on board with something that is true. something that you most logically should be on board with. like you and the true meaning of beads.
Jill: the true meaning of beads. you are crazypants


So you make the call:
What means "I'm not on board!"
A. Beads, clearly
B. Bees, obviously
C. Who or what is GOB?
D. Um... you are crazypants. And should maybe go outside more often.

3 comments:

Jilly said...

A. Beads, clearly.

But I suppose it is already rather clear what my opinion is on this.

Jamie said...

B. Bees. BEES?! Bzz Bzz Bzz!

Brokenbyclouds said...

Actually I've got Brandon and Elisabeth on the bandwagon for this phrase already. Bees is on board, beads is not on board.

However I think this should still be argued as you guys produce hilariously terribad chat logs from such arguments.