March 17, 2010

A Very Important Rant

St. Patrick's Day edition! Let me warn you: I'm really going to let my emo bitter contempt for humanity fly in this one. It's a rare peek into my intj brain, so if you'd like to take some pictures, go right ahead.

It is really pathetic to look around the office and see everyone wearing green. We all know that the hours spend in a cubical farm are bleak and joyless. Do we really need to all be wearing reminders of that fact? It's worse than Hawaiian shirt day. Hawaiian shirt day has at least gained a certain level of socially-accepted pathetic tragedy that only the truly deluded office workers even participate. St. Patrick's day has yet to get to that enviable point. So not only do I have to wake up before 6 am, take a shower, wear clean clothes, go to work, and sit at a desk for 9 hours pretending to care deeply about something I have no real investment in, I have to wear something green.

Then there are those that purposely don't wear green. The people that are so desperate for attention, yet so pathetically lacking of any interesting qualities that they need to engineer overly-contrived conversation starters to get people to even notice them. They don't even care that the forced attention is given through obvious contempt. Mere attention is validation enough. Being looked at and talked to is all these people need to feel valued by society, because their definition of "value" is so skewed by lonely years of social isolation. I don't care how many girls ignored you in high school, it is never okay to ask me anything about what I'm wearing. And I resent the stupid holiday that makes people think it is.

You know what the threat of pinching really is? It is the threat that a stranger will cross the boundaries of social-acceptability. If a stranger is allowed to pinch me, what else is he allowed to do? For one day, people who enjoy this kind of boundary-crossing physical contact get some sense of authority. What kind of sick culture celebrates this level of inappropriateness? It is not okay to dictate what I wear, it is not ok to talk to me about my clothes, and it is never EVER ok to touch me. I despise any holiday that tells you otherwise.

*Deep breath.*
I feel much better now.


Brokenbyclouds said...

Cubicle. We've had this discussion before.

Jamie said...

THAT is your comment? I feel another rant coming.

Brokenbyclouds said...

To be fair, I hadn't yet read the whole post when I commented! I was gonna leave another one after processing but its very very late for me and I'M TOO TIRED TO CONTRIBUTE WORTHWHILE THINGS RIGHT NOW. I'M SORRY.

Jilly said...

Awesome. There's no way around this holiday. If you wear green, you are one of "those" people. If you don't, even worse, you are one of "THOSE" people.

To Brokenbyclouds: I thought you'd be so totally bees with this rant. When you are awake, I expect something better from you.

Deja said...

Another rant I can get behind. Pinching? Really?

I, for one, completely forgot this green thing, and am not wearing a stitch of it. Whoops. I really did forget though ...