November 30, 2009

Team Mike

I saw New Moon on Friday. I've only ever read the first book in the Twilight saga, but I know the basic plot. With that limited background knowledge, I was expecting to come out of New Moon a Team Jacob fan. I know it's never going to happen, but from the first book, I liked Jacob a lot better than Edward. (Probably because he was barely in it.) Still, I thought Jacob was more of a real person; and since he wasn't a 100 year old man who wanted to kill her, that Jacob/Bella would be more of a healthy relationship. WRONG. Jacob is just as creepy and condescending (sorry... protective) as Edward. So I'm starting a new team: Team Mike. The dorky boy from school. The dorky normal boy who gets queasy at the sight of gore. The guy who expresses his interest in Bella by asking her on a date instead of abandoning her with no explanation "for her own good." Sure, he may not have a bazillion ab muscles, but I'm sure his nipples match. And if he wants to come into her room, he waits until he's invited and then USES THE DOOR.

Maybe I'll write that YA series. A young girl who likes reading books and cooking dinner for her dad discovers the existence of several supernatural creatures who all happen to be in love with her for no apparent reason. After much emo window-staring, she eventually falls in love with the nerdy kid from her 3rd period English class. The supernatural creatures all kill each other in an epic battle while she's on a date at Chili's. After much soul searching, she decides to order the steak fajitas.

November 24, 2009

The undead billionaire's virgin bride

I can't decide if I should call myself a Twilight fan. I like making fun of it A LOT. Can that be considered a fan? I'm definitely not a fan of the books, I read the first one and that was enough of that forever. But of the pop-culture phenomenon, I think I'd have to consider myself a fan. Like this video... is that not awesome?

Speaking of the Twilight phenomenon, I have a semi-related rant after reading opinions of several Twilight-haters. (Here is one example, but most of the teeth gnashing I come across is done in message boards and blog post comments. Here's a small offensive sampling.) I get a little annoyed at the excessive hand wringing done over the "bad message for teenage girls" thing. It isn't the best message for girls, I agree. But I don't see nearly the same level of pearl-clutching done for the billions of things out there that are a bad message for teenage boys. Rap music, violent video games, unrealistic expectations of female beauty, Megan Fox... there are plenty of negative media influences out there polluting our teenage boys. Sure, there is some hand-wringing and pearl-clutching, but not like there is for Twilight. No one thinks the Transformers movie spells doom for our civilization.

This bothers me because the disproportionate response over Twilight suggests that teenage girls are less able to handle negative influences than boys. That their delicate girly minds aren't strong enough to be exposed to Twilight and reasonably deduce that a book about vampires is different than real life. Maybe the negative reaction to Twilight is the appropriate response and we're selling our teenage boys short, but either way, it annoys me. Let girls have their escapist fantasy. If they can't come out of it unscathed, then they had problems before reading Twilight. Let's not blame the crappy books. Mercilessly mock them instead. It's way more fun.

November 18, 2009

I'm cooking the turkey

I've cooked a turkey several times before, but not for The Official Thanksgiving Dinner. With Grandma and everything. I offered to do it this year; I've had good turkey cooking experiences in the past. With the notable exception of Horne Hall in which the turkey spent far too much time sliding all over the kitchen floor. It still tasted good.

The last time I cooked a turkey, I used this method. It was very successful. In fact, it was probably the juiciest turkey I had ever cooked. I would try it this time, but my mom felt strongly that 8 people needed a 22-pound turkey. And the previously linked method is not recommended for mutant-sized turkeys. Any one else have turkey cooking tricks that have proven tasty?

November 16, 2009

SNL Digital Shorts I Like

Because I was talking about them at work, and thought it would be nice to have them all in one place.

On the ground! This is endlessly quoted by me and Jill. Because we are adults!

I'm on a boat!

and finally....People Getting Punched Right Before Eating. It's exactly like it sounds, plus zombies.

November 12, 2009

Talking about Survivor again

So all you cultured people better look away. It's reality tv. One taste and you're hooked.

To my fellow addicts, how awesome was this episode? It's Tribal Councils like tonight (and last week too, this season ROCKS) that keep me watching the boringly predictable seasons where the dominant tribe isn't STUPID and just pagongs the other tribe like they're supposed to. Of course, those seasons didn't have hidden immunity idols. Or people named "Shambo." While next episode's preview of everyone madly tearing up the camp looks awesome, I hope the rest of this season doesn't become the "crazy treasure hunt" show. So Survivor Producers: HIDE THE IDOL BETTER. Like under Jeff Probst's hat. Russell still might find it, but it'll at least take a couple of episodes.