My sister decorated her room this weekend, and hung a Harry Potter "Platform 9 3/4" sign just outside her door.
A sign just like this.
Now, we all know I like Harry Potter and I also like to be silly. (No, I didn't mean to type "annoying." I meant silly, as in awesome and hilarious.) So upon seeing this sign, I thought it would be funny to run right into Jill's door, as if I was trying to catch the Hogwarts Express. For those that don't understand (A) Harry Potter or (B) my particular brand of high-brow humor, let me explain why this was going to be funny. Regarding point A: To catch the Hogwarts Express, young witches and wizards must run straight into the wall 3/4 of the distance between platform 9 and platform 10. Regarding point B: Jill really hates when I burst into her room, and is easily startled by loud noises. Also, people running into things is funny.
Let's recap: Jill hung up a new sign. She is in the room with her door closed, and hates sudden intrusions and loud noises. I see the sign and plan to run into her door.
You know when you are telling a funny story, and you get so caught up in the build-up that you yourself almost forget the ending? And then, you have that moment where you remember the ending, and get this sinking realization that compared to all that build up, the ending is pretty lame? That's it's not so much a story as it is a twitter update? And not even a good, Kanye twitter update, but a regular boring twitter update that only your mom might reply to? And even then, she's not even replying to the twitter update as much as she just doesn't quite understand twitter and is just asking you to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home?
So I run into the door, and it being a crappy door, it does not hold my weight. Also, I don't think it was even closed all the way. I fall into Jill's room, running into piles of her stuff, and land face down on the carpet. She is furious and wants an explanation. I told her I was trying to see if I was a witch, and obviously my test had failed. I was in Jill's room getting yelled at, not on a train heading towards adventures that would surely be chronicled in the best-selling "Jamie Saunders and the Fairly Uneventful but Nonetheless Personally Fulfilling Year at Wizard School." Jill ended up thinking I was funny (as usual), and I walked back into my boring muggle room, my pride and face only slightly bruised.
But then I thought about it later. I DID make it through the wall, into another room. So results: inconclusive. The End. (Or is it?)