October 6, 2008

Why I skip church activities

With my sudden resurgence of church activity (actually going to things during the week) came a re-realization of why it's annoying to be single and LDS.

Last month's enrichment activity was a SPA night: There were mini-talks on "S"criptures, "P"rayer, and "A"tonement and then we all got our nails done and learned how to put on make-up. The activity was fine, I like bonding over eye shadow as much as anyone. The wives of the bishopric gave the mini-talks, and as usual with single women, treated us like primary kids. Actual question posed to a group of 20-something LDS women: "What book of scripture tells of Jesus's life?" We all looked at each other confused. Did she want a list of specific chapters? Did she mean His mortal life or resurrected life? The answer? "The bible." More than half of the women are returned missionaries! I think we're familiar with the basic premise of the bible. We all got a bag of gumballs to "chew" when we "chewse" to read the scriptures. That may entertain Ralph Wiggum, but we are supposedly adults. And I'd feel bad making fun of this if it wasn't for the rest of her lesson, but her testimony of the scriptures was solely based on how neat it was to read them to her kids, and to hear her kids read them to their kids. Ok, that's nice, but none of us have kids. Know your audience! Is it really so hard to find value in the scriptures for yourself? At least I got to try out some nice exfoliating cream.

So I find out from Jill that this month's enrichment activity is a corn maze. A corn maze and a swap meet. Not a swap meet where we bring all our crap and trade it, a swap meet where we "swap" guys with another ward and "meet" them. DURING ENRICHMENT. Jill is on the enrichment committee and I encouraged her to question the addition of guys to a Relief Society meeting. Apparently, the bishop has mandated that we have swap meets with enrichment every other month. We have FHE once a week, and several "ward activities" each year. Not to mention Munch 'n Mingle, Linger Longer, Break the Fast or whatever it's called. Oh and stake dances. Do we really need forced dating imposed on enrichment now too? Is there really so little value to women meeting together that they need to make the guys attend every other month? Why not just get rid of Relief Society all together! Or at least make the priesthood attend our Sunday meeting every other week. Just for singles of course. We can have meaningful adult interaction with other LDS women, but only once we're married.

I like single's wards. I like interacting with people my own age. But apparently, the only people I should be interacting with are men. I may switch to the regular local ward. Sure, they're mostly newly wed or nearly dead, but then church can just be church. Not thinly (or not at all) veiled opportunities to meet guys.


Elise said...

That. is. lame. I'm sorry Jamie. I have nothing helpful to say to you. I am filled with angst.

Except, maybe you can volunteer to be on the enrichment board. and remind them how enrichment is to be centered around CHRIST. not prince charming.

I am seriously seriously disturbed.

Deja said...

Dang, Jamie. I've been checking that My Blue Chair thing, wondering why for with the silence. And here you are, just blogging away like a maniac, saying articulate, fascinating, angst-inducing things that make me proud to know you.

I read this post with my jaw literally dropped. Glad to have located you in this wide cyber world.