Crash and Burn

You ever start listening to a song over the restaurant speakers or at a store in the mall and get this overwhelming feeling I know this song. Not just realizing you'd heard it before somewhere, but knowing that this song was significant to you on some emotional level, many many years ago. It overwhelms you like some potent, long-forgotten aroma. You can't figure out the name or or the artist, but you can sing along to all the words. Then you get embarrassed, because the song is super cheesy, but you know at one point in your life, you truly felt that this song really spoke to the anguished depths of your teen-aged soul.

Jill and I were eating at Red Robin when this song came on (link to youtube video), and we both shared that similar moment. And omg I just watched the video and he does sign language. Remember in high school and seminary when adding sign language was really the super special cherry on top that launched a musical performance from dab-your-eyes spiritual to so-uplifting-that-I-would-be-terribly-ungrateful-if-I-did-not-share-my-testimony-with-you-right now! (Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh. But I blame my aversion to overt spiritual manipulation on the girl who taught relief society lessons in college using Enya songs and clips of the World Trade Center being attacked.)

Once we figured out what that song was (is it from a Disney movie? is it used in some epic amv? why do we both instantly react to this song?), we laughed over our awkward sentimentality:

Jill: I do not want to tell you about the memory associated with this song, it's too embarrassing.
Me: Was it about Adam or Chad?
Jill: Neither. It was about Jesus.
Song: When you feel all alone / And the world has turned its back on you / If you need to crash then crash and burn / You're not alone
Me: Yeah, I can see that.

Disclaimer: I still kind of love that song, and may have watched the music video more than once today.

Deep Blue

I walk in the cemetery, minutes after sunset. I watch the lightning over the Salt Lake Valley. The city lights slowly brighten as the wild sky darkens. It’s not a picturesque rolling thunder storm, with majestic hues of deep blue and purple. It’s a hasty smear across the sky, the color of a massive bruise. Like the one that covered half of my thigh the entire summer of 1994, after the fall down the water slide. Brown and black with a fleshy orange undertone from the lingering sunlight. Lightning flashes in quick bursts, behind the Wasatch mountains, above the ball park, over the lake. I hear no thunder over the pulsing bass of the The Suburbs.

I open a new google doc, to write this all down before I take a shower. I read last night’s document, my scripture journal, where I wrote about doubt and fear and starting on a new spiritual path. I re-read my self-assigned study topic from last night: to re-read the reaction of King Benjamin’s people after his prophetic address and ponder on my reaction to the “fear of the Lord [that] had come upon them.” Nine years ago my reaction to those verses had triggered my first true conversion to religion. I re-read it today and wonder what’s it like to know something wild or to truly feel fear.

New Music: Albums

Enjoy some new (to me) music from albums I've recently purchased.

"Bloodbuzz Ohio"
from High Violet, by The National


"Dancing in a Minefield"
from Pins and Panzers, by Plushgun


"Wide Eyes"
from Gorilla Manor, by Local Natives


"Love Like a Sunset II"
from Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, by Phoenix


"Just Listen"
from Sirens of the Sea, by OceanLab

Pandora discoveries

Contemplative emo edition. This songs may already be popular and overplayed, but they're new to me.

"Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy


"There's No Way" by Sam Bisbee
(no youtube video. D: sorry.)

"Roam" by Lijie
(enabling not allowed... here's the link)

...and this isn't a new discovery, but since the videos for my three new faves are so fail, I'll include it as bonus. This is probably my favorite love song.

"Amie" by Damien Rice

Some of the music I like

Here are some videos of music I like that I found through Pandora or emo tv shows.

"Closer" by Kings of Leon


"Fidelity" by Regina Spektor


"My Skin" by Natalie Merchant


"Buttons" by The Weeks


"Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups